Christmas Special -2022- Bindastimes Original

12 am. Church bells ring. You go for Midnight Mass wearing your one nice sweater — the same one from 2019.

Halfway through the service, the power goes. Uncle ji loudly says, “Billi ne wire kaat di.”
Someone starts playing “Jingle Bells” on a cracked phone speaker. The priest sighs. Kids start running around. Aunties distribute homemade cookies from Tupperware boxes.
By 1 am, everyone is eating bhaji pav in the church parking lot.
This is Indian Christmas.

The centerpiece of the Christmas Special -2022- BindasTimes Original is a satirical short story that went viral on our Telegram channel. Titled "Santa Claus: Swiggy Delivery Partner," it imagines Old Saint Nick trying to deliver gifts in a post-pandemic world. Christmas Special -2022- BindasTimes Original

"I’ve been doing this for 1,700 years," Santa sighs in the sketch, staring at a one-star rating because a PlayStation 5 was delivered at 8:03 PM instead of 8:00 PM sharp. "Nobody cares about the magic anymore. They just want the tracking link."

It was dark, hilarious, and painfully accurate for the work-from-home generation. The centerpiece of the Christmas Special -2022- BindasTimes

It’s 23rd December. Mom announces, “Aaj Christmas tree lagana hai.”

Everyone gets excited. Then Dad brings out that box — the same dusty, torn cardboard box from 2014. Inside: a synthetic tree missing three branches, fairy lights that work only if you hold the wire at a 45° angle, and one star that looks like it survived a house fire. "I’ve been doing this for 1,700 years," Santa

After 45 minutes of assembling, the tree leans at a dangerous 30° angle. Mom puts a bedsheet under it “for safety.” Dad says, “Perfect. Ab iske neeche gift rakh denge.”
Gift? We all know that gift is going to be a box of Kaju Katli recycled from Diwali.