Two years ago, Jodi West, a parenting coach and former special education advocate from Boise, Idaho, sat in her minivan after dropping her 14-year-old son, Caleb, at a wilderness therapy program. She recorded a two-minute video, eyes red, voice cracking.
“I’ve read the books. I’ve used the calm voice. I’ve taken the phone. Nothing worked. My son is out of control—verbally abusive, destructive, failing school. And I realized… I was out of control too.”
The video amassed 20 million views across TikTok and YouTube. Comment sections split into two camps: “Finally, someone honest” and “You’re the problem, mom.” jodiwest jodi west my son is out of control better
But West didn’t lean into blame. She leaned into “better.”
Then came the twist: a year later, Max released his own video titled “I’m Not Out of Control—Here’s What That Looks Like.” In it, he explained how his journey from shame to self-advocacy had reshaped his world. The viral storm that once defined his story now fueled a powerful message: being out of control isn’t a dead end—it can be the catalyst for growth. Two years ago, Jodi West, a parenting coach
Jodi’s mantra became, “You don’t fix a storm. You learn how to sail in it.”
Many parents go straight to punishment. Jodi West’s philosophy (and similar models like Love & Logic) emphasizes that an out-of-control son is a disconnected son. Connection de-escalates the threat response
Connection de-escalates the threat response. You cannot discipline a brain that is on fire.