Sometimes, the weird noise is just... a weird human.
You have identified the noise. Perhaps it was just a loose fan belt, or perhaps it was a man arguing with a vending machine. Regardless, you must leave with dignity.
If the noise isn’t water, it’s flesh. Urban legends aside, animals love commercial restrooms. They are dark, damp, and full of water sources.
At 10:17, with the restroom unoccupied and door closed, a sequence of sounds was captured: theres a weird noise coming from the mens toilet
No mechanical source (fan, pipe expansion, water hammer) could replicate this sequence during controlled tests.
If you determine the coast is clear enough to enter, you must employ the "Scan and Pivot" technique.
The first complaint was logged at 09:47 on April 10, 2026, by Mr. D. Chen (Accounting). Subsequent complaints include: Sometimes, the weird noise is just
No female or non-binary staff have reported similar noises from the adjacent women’s or all-gender restrooms.
Based on your findings, you have three options. Choose wisely.
| Noise | Likely Cause | Action | | :--- | :--- | :--- | | Gurgle-gurgle-hiccup | Main line clog | Call a plumber. Do not flush anything. | | Scratch-scratch-thump | Rodent in the wall | Call pest control. Set a trap. | | Muffled singing | A lonely man | Leave a note. Do not interrupt the ritual. | | Perfect silence | The noise stopped | This is the worst option. The problem is now looking at you. Run. | | Drip... drip... hiss | Burst pipe behind tile | Shut off the main water valve. Now. | No mechanical source (fan, pipe expansion, water hammer)
If you are currently reading this article because you are standing outside a men’s toilet right now, listening to a noise, here is your final checklist:
Do:
Do Not: